It's just so hard to know what to write. Things are moving right along. Ansley had chemo this week and completed week 13 of her treatments! It brings me joy that she has done so well for this long. But, at the same time, it's hard to see her nauseated, irritated, and not herself. Not a day goes by that I am not both thankful and scared out of my mind at what the future may hold. Life is actually pretty normal these days. The 4 older kids are enjoying school and are completing the 3rd nine week session this coming week. They are all playing tennis for their school this spring. So, in a lot of ways, life is carrying on. Hard moments definitely happen like yesterday when Ansley dressed up in a spring dress, put a ring on her "wedding ring" finger, and held a bouquet of fake flowers in her hand. I about lost it just thinking about how badly I want to see her walk down the aisle one day as an adult. Once you are hit with cancer, you think about so many seasons of life you never thought would possibly not be there. I want to see Ansley grow and mature. God, please give us that gift!
We are looking forward to April when we will have the blessing of going to Disney. Ansley was granted her wish from Make-A-Wish to spend some time in Orlando. Our whole family is really excited about this treat.
It is good to have something to look forward to right now. It's fun to look to next month and see a big treat coming up!
We got good news on Wednesday at clinic. The doctors found an elevated amount of protein in Ansley's spinal fluid a couple of weeks ago. It can be due to the Methotrexate they inject during the spinal tap or it can be from something more severe. They did a spinal on Wed just to check the protein level again and it was back to normal! So, we are thankful that it is being caused only by the chemo drug and not from infection or something else.
So, here we are 13 weeks in and about 39 to go. My precious dad said, "You're 25% of the way there!" I need some of his optimism these days. It is definitely going to be a marathon year. Pray that we can press on and not grow weary. Pray that our baby girl can find joy in these circumstances. Actually, pray that for her mommy, too. Thanks for caring.
Psalm 56:8
"You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?"
