last day of chemo....i have to say it again it sounds so good!

Enough hair for a hair clip!!!

The morning of last chemo!

Sleeping peacefully.

Isaiah 26:3
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.

Thankfulness

Tomorrow is a big day around our house. It is the final day of IV chemo for our sweet baby girl, Ansley. It has been one long, hard year and it is almost over! She will have to be put to sleep tomorrow to have a spinal tap, she will get chemo through her port, and also antibiotics through her port. After tomorrow, she will have 5 days of oral chemo. We are praying that this is the last chemo cycle this precious life ever has to experience. Quite frankly, I feel like tomorrow we are going on an exciting trip. I can't sleep, I have packed a special snack bag for my girl, and I have incredible joy in my heart. It seemed like this day would never come; and finally, it is here. Please rejoice with us that this week is the final week and pray that her scans show no more cancer in her little body in December.

So much to be thankful for tonight. So much to thank God for tonight.
Blessings and Peace my friends,
Amy

New Mercies

I am writing with joy in my heart after a very sweet weekend with my family! The 7 of us enjoyed a relaxing weekend with not much on the agenda. It was a treat to go out on a date with my hubby, have pedicures with my girls and take a Sunday afternoon nap!
We are thankful for Ansley's emotional and physical health. She is upbeat, positive and being very tender with her siblings. We look forward to a great week and preparing to go to the mountains on Saturday for a week of vacation! Oh so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Pray for us as we remember last Thanksgiving and how much things have changed over the year.... a child with cancer,a move to a house closer to MUSC, etc. Please pray that I can be thankful for our "new" story. Maybe not thankful "for" the story but thankful that God has held our hand through the story.

I stared at the computer screen for a few minutes trying to come up with a title for this entry. I feel so torn inside that all i could think of was, "Jumbled." You would think that this close to being done with chemotherapy would feel magnificent. And, in some ways it does. I would've thought I would feel relief. But, quite frankly, it's not what I am feeling today. Our sweet Ansley came up to me today with huge tears in her eyes, "Mommy, I just want to be killed so I don't have to deal with this cancer any longer." Ugh.....what in the world do you say to that? Today was day 5 of oral chemo. She is swollen, sore, nauseated, red-faced, irritated, hungry but not hungry, sad and just plain over it all. All I knew to do was to hug her and tell her how much I loved her. It broke my heart when she said she was ready to see Harper in Heaven. This whole journey is hard. I am having a day filled with fear, anger and sadness for Ansley.

She is asleep now next to her brother, Garrett. Her emotions are much more under control and she hasn't mentioned death since this afternoon. Would you please pray for our family? I am weak right now and I need God to strengthen me. Please pray that Ansley does not stop fighting! We might be done with chemo this month, but we have years of scans and labs. This is a life journey not just a year journey.

My precious mom sent this to me and it has ministered to my soul today.

Christ will lead you into many situations that will seem impossible, but don't try to avoid them. Stay in the middle of them, for that is where you will experience God. The key difference between what appears to be impossible to us and what is actually possible is a word from our Master. Faith accepts his divine command and steps out in a direction that only God can complete. If you attempt only things that you know are possible with the visible resources you possess, those around you will not see God at work. You will be the one who receives the credit for a job well done,but God will have know part in it. Take inventory of your life and the decisions you are presently facing. Have you received a word from the Master that awaits your next step of faith? If you will proceed with what He has told you, no matter how incredible it might seem,,you will experience the joy of seeing your Lord perform a miracle, and so will those around you.

I feel like tomorrow is our family's next step of faith. I need Jesus for tomorrow!
Thanks for your faithfulness and letting me empty my heart to you. It is a helpless feeling to watch your baby girl suffer. I want to be faithful through every step. But, I can only do that with the Lord's strength. My tank is on empty....but His is always full!

Thirty One Info

Our dear friend, Rebecca Deans, is a Thirty-One consultant. She is blessing The Journey House effort by giving from her sales for the coming month anyone who uses the following link. Please use it if you have any need for this cute stuff! They make great gifts, too.

http://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E1203315&from=DIRECTLINK


Chemo went well yesterday. An 8 hour day at MUSC seems like a marathon!! But, our baby girl is doing well today and we are thankful that we are able to come home and sleep in our own beds. So many families have to either stay at a hotel or stay in the hospital. We have so much to be thankful for!!!

www.thejourneyhouse.org

Much love,
Amy

second to last

Arriving at 2nd to last chemo! Long day ahead with multiple infusions, EKG and ECHO. But oh so thankful to be at this stage of the game. Please pray for port access to go smoothly