Chemo and Today

Ansley has handled the chemo from a week ago better than the last couple of rounds. What this means is that there hasn't been as much vomiting, nausea and fatigue. It has been a smoother week than normal chemo weeks and for that we are grateful. I am enjoying my time with the kids tremendously this summer. Why does it take a tragedy to wake me up to the thousands of gifts right in front of my eyes everyday? The most mundane tasks have taken on new meaning. How thankful I am to have so many loads of laundry to do because this means I have 5 kiddos that are able to play and get messy and have energy to be kids! Thank goodness I have a full sink of dishes after breakfast and lunch with my 5 precious babies.
Thankfulness is in my heart today. Pray that I would remember how faithful God has been to our family through this journey. Ansley is more than halfway done with her expected chemo protocol and we look forward to the day when we can ring the bell in the clinic to signify victory over cancer!

Five great reasons to have a thankful heart today!

Chemo went great yesterday. labs were good and our sweet Morgan joined us for the day. Next chemo not until July 13th (2 days before Ansley's 5th birthday).

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Does this ever get normal?

It has been a while since I have written. We have had lots of good days lately. I would say they seem somewhat normal....I just don't really like this new normal if I am honest. There are so many days where I say to myself and God, "Can I please have our old life back? Can I please for one hour not think about what is going on inside our little girl's body?" And, of course, the answer is no. Right now, this is our life. And it has to be dealt with. And, so, we will do tomorrow when tomorrow gets here.
Today was a wonderful day. We celebrated the marriage of two very special friends and Ansley was a flower girl. A lot of "what-ifs" went through my mind as I watched our baby girl walk down the aisle.
She looked beautiful. She looked happy. She had so much fun doing it. As her mommy, though, tough questions run through my mind as to what the future will look like.

Please pray for our family this week. Chemo is on Wednesday and so we are coming up on a week of Ansley not feeling well. The chemo seems to be hitting her body harder and making her more nauseated. Please pray for patience and energy for me as I take care of her. Pray that the sickness is not as bad as it was last treatment.

A Day of Mixed Emotions

In many ways, today was a dream for the mamma of a daughter with cancer. Ansley handled her port access like a champ, her counts were really good, platelet counts in the normal range, and she doesn't have to go back to clinic for 2 weeks!! So, what's the other emotion I'm feeling?? Well, as we got great news today, there are many families in clinic that did not get encouraging news. There were lots of new faces today at clinic which means this horrible disease has pressed it's way into another child's body and an entire family's life. We have seen 3 recurrences lately in kids we have gotten to know during the last 6 months. These families have been fighting much longer than we and they are starting again with chemo, radiation and procedures.

You never think this is what life is going to look like. At least it's not what I ever envisioned. And, I am sure it's not what other people have envisioned life would be like for their children. But, I am learning to accept and thank God for this trial. Not that I am thankful for cancer, but I am thankful for how God is carrying us and loving us through this time.

When you look at your kids, or spouse, or friends, make sure your heart remembers to be thankful. Sometimes we have to fight for thankfulness. We have to choose it. I have to choose it 50 million times a day right now. And, I don't get it right very much. But, I know that Ansley's cancer has made me and Matt realize what really matters in life. Every time I can rub my sweet baby girl's soft, blond hair, I am thankful. Every time I see our five precious kids playing together, I am thankful. Every time I can sit and talk and dream with my husband of 14 years, I am thankful.

But, also remember these special families that are fighting cancer once again. Remember the families that drive 2 -3 hours each way to make it to clinic once a week. And, remember the sweet people that have lost their jobs in order to care for their children who are fighting hard against cancer. This is reality for a lot of people. Doesn't it put into perspective the things in life we complain about? It sure convicts me.

So, please join our family in rejoicing and remembering.

almost done!

We don't have to come in to clinic until the next round of chemo!!!

2 weeks off!!!

praise!

Counts look great! once again, her ANC is high and platelet counts are in the normal range!!!! Huge blessings!!! Tears of joy and thankfulness streaming down this mamma's face!!!

after our break

On our way to chemo.


What a nice break we had last week!


Pray that her counts are high and port access goes well.