Exciting Stuff

Friends,

We enter a very exciting week as we count down to only two more chemo treatments!! Wednesday of this week is the next to the last one. I was looking back on some past entries and it seems like only yesterday we were in the hospital with an initial diagnosis of cancer. I am grateful beyond words at how God has carried us through the last 11 months and how He will continue to do so as we wait to see how Ansley's scans look every 12 weeks.

We are very excited about the upcoming event in Charleston known as Ansley's Attempt!
It will take place Saturday, December 3rd at Blackbaud Stadium at 9 AM. If you haven't a clue what I am talking about, please go to our website at www.thejourneyhouse.org and find out all about what God has laid on our family's heart.

Many people have asked how they can help with Ansley's Attempt. What we need more than anything is for people to come and hold a board for the mosaic. In order to get the World Record, we need 1,404 people holding up the boards. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE COME TO ANSLEY'S ATTEMPT!!!

Also, a dear friend of ours is a Thirty-One Gifts Consultant. She has graciously offered to give all of her commission to The Journey House from now until the end of November! Please look through this wonderful catalog and use the following link for The Journey House to get credit.

http://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/catalog.aspx?eventId=E1193271&from=DIRECTLINK

We want to get this home away from home going as soon as possible for families that are in Charleston for treatment of a sick child. Please help us raise the money! Also, we are now up and running for donations on our website. www.thejourneyhouse.org

May God use The Journey House for His glory!

Today is a good day around our house. Ansley is tired but not in pain so we will gladly take it!! We had the pleasure of talking briefly this morning on Channel 4. Please visit www.thejourneyhouse.org to find out more about what God is doing in Charleston. It is amazing how He takes something as painful as disease of a child and can bring good out of it.

No chemo this week. After next week's chemo, she will have 1 more treatment! We are thankful that we don't have to live in fear of what next year will bring. She will have PET scans every 12 weeks starting in December. At that point, we will see if the chemo has killed off all the cancer cells in her body. Psalm 112:7
says, "He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD."

May God be glorified through whatever He chooses to bring into our lives.

Ansley's Attempt

It is amazing to see God work in the middle of hard, life changing, and emotionally draining times. But, I do believe that God can make good from anything He chooses to bring into our lives. Remembering that God desires for us to comfort just as He has comforted brings me to an exciting announcement.....

Our family will be on Lowcountry Live on ABC Monday morning around 10:30. We will be talking about Ansley's Attempt, which is an upcoming event on Sat. Dec 3rd at Blackbaud Stadium in Charleston. I will send more info out later on the event. In short, Ansley is attempting the world record for the largest picture mosaic ever created. The reason behind this event is a dream of ours known as The Journey House. Ansley's Attempt is the "launch" event for The Journey House. The Journey House is a dream to see a home downtown that cares for and meets the needs of families with kids that have life changing diseases. We want to offer the hope of Christ, relieve the burdens of these families with meals, lodging and child care for siblings, and counseling, and also encourage these families during a really tough season of life.
We need the support of so many friends to make Ansley's attempt happen on the 3rd of December. If anyone is interested in helping, please e-mail me. There are lots of ways we can use your gifts!! We need coloring done, too. So, if you have children, they can serve before the event as well. Please bring your friends and family out on the 3rd of December.
More info will follow. But, please be in prayer for the Monday news broadcast. We want people to hear that our desire is to comfort hurting families just like God has comforted us for the past 10 months. We want to use our story to let other families know they are not alone.

Tomorrow will be the final day of oral chemo for this cycle. The weekend has been hard because Ansley hasn't felt well. It has also been good because we have done NOTHING!!!!
It's such a season of mixed emotions.....sad to have her feel yucky, glad she wants to cuddle with me all day long; sad that she has so many questions about death, dying, and cancer but glad she comes to me and Matt to have them answered; sad she has had to go through so much in the last year, glad there are only 2 more chemo treatments; sad to see people die of this awful disease but glad they are out of the pain and agony that it brings along with it; fearful of what next year will look like but ready to move on to next year.

I guess it's like any season of life that is uncertain-it brings with it a mix of emotions.
The rash continues to stay gone which is a wonderful thing. Looks like we won't go back to MUSC until Nov.2!!! The Lord willing, that is.

Today was a long but good day at MUSC. Ansley's rash came back and we have been concerned about what might be going on. But today it began going away and we were able to move forward with chemo. She had real pain and fear with her port access and deaccess today. She shed lots of tears and Matt and I felt so incredibly helpless. But, the good news is there are only 2 treatments left! I can't believe we will be finishing a year pretty soon. Oh, what a year it has been. We are overwhelmed with the love you have shown us the last 10 months. It is never repayable what you all have done for our family. Whether we know you intimately or have never met you, thank you more than you know for loving, praying and encouraging our family.

We will begin a new phase of life starting in December as we begin PET scans every 12 weeks to see if the cancer is actually gone. I will admit I have fear over the waiting game of scans every 12 weeks for a year. I want to live remembering the verse in Jeremiah that says, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you." I am asking God to anchor our hearts to His truth and to help us in our weakness.

We press on this week with oral chemo for 5 days after IV chemo today. Please pray specifically for
**Ansley's left leg. She is having pain and soreness and we aren't exactly sure what is going on.
**Ansley's rash to heal and not to EVER come back
**Patience
**Matt as he is traveling for work to Chicago

God's grace in abundance to you all,
Amy, for the McEvoy Crew

Good but Hard

Ansley has been feeling really well the past couple of days. Her energy seems high, her attitude seems pretty normal for a 5-year old, and she has been in a sweet, tender mood. I am so thankful for these last few days.

We have had some hard conversations around our house. Precious Harper Drolet, who was the first cancer patient we met in clinic, died on Friday. Her mom, Amy, actually consoled me on the first day in the out patient clinic. She shared with me that things would get easier and that life does get back to normal. She hugged me as I cried. Her dear daughter, Harper, fought so hard against this awful disease. Her family is an inspiration to anyone who understands how hard this journey can be. After we told the kids that she had died, it has brought up some fear issues, of course. Ansley said to Kendall the other night, "Kendall, if I die, will you keep my toys so you can remember me?" Whoa. What do you say to that? Then, Ansley says to me, "Mommy, why did Harper have to die?" I said, "It was just her time." Ansley said, "But it shouldn't have been her time."

I agree. It doesn't seem like at 11 years old it should be her time to die. Such hard questions. I want to be honest with the kids and celebrate these beautiful children who are now out of all pain, are cancer free and are in their true Home.
Yes, we who are left without their presence here on Earth are sad, but Heaven is rejoicing.

Harper, thank you for how you lived your life...Faithfully, courageously, passionately, unselfishly, and boldly. Drolet Family, thank you for how you have shown us how to live well in the midst of tragedy.

Chemo for Ansley is on Wednesday, the 12th. This will begin the countdown to November 28th!!! Praise God!

Day 2 1/2 of oral chemo. Ansley came to me this morning and said," Mamma, why do I have to be sick? When will this sickness leave my body?" Ugggghhhhh. I wanted to scream and cry at the same time. I'm not really sure how to answer that question to a 5 year old wanting to feel healthy again. I pray that come December there is no more cancer. I pray that Ansley never has to take another another dose of oral chemo or have a port accessed again after December.

Please, please pray for her body to be healed. And, pray that the next few days of oral chemo don't become unbearable for her.

Bumps in the Road

We are sitting in the Peds Hem/Onc Clinic today awaiting chemotherapy. We have visited the 10th floor at Rutledge Tower this morning trying to figure out what is causing our baby girl to have a rash all over her body. Chemo did not go on Wed due to the rash. Labs were drawn on Wed and then we came back today. There was some question as to whether or not chemo should be administered today and the final decision was "yes." Funny thing is I am thankful we got to move forward even though that means the net week will stink. I am thankful when we can stay on schedule so that come December, we can be done. I can't help but want to see our precious Ansley done with treatments.

Honestly, it's been a hard week. So many bumps in the road right now. We, as a family, are trying to have life remain as normal as possible yet there are so many abnormalities. I guess I shouldn't say abnormalities, just new stuff. I think days at the hospital, crying eyes, giving meds and rubbing aching legs are becoming quite normal for us.

The challenge for me is to remain hopeful when things don't go as planned. Is my hope only visible when my circumstances are without challenge? I sure don't want to live that way. I have a hope that does not disappoint and His name is Jesus. WHEN bumps arrive, He is my strength and an ever-present help in times of trouble.

This quote was in the bulletin at church a couple of weeks ago and it has comforted my frustrated and weak heart.
Peace, Love and Joy to you all,
Amy

"Circumstances may seem to wreck our lives and God's plans, but GOD IS NOT HELPLESS AMONG THE RUINS. Our broken lives are not lost or useless. God's love is still working. He comes in and takes the calamity and uses it victoriously, working out his wonderful plan of love." -Eric Liddell

almost done!

Almost done with infusion.
she had a good nap and is awake now.
Here today with Gavin and Garrett.

sleepy girl

infusion going.

she is wiped out.

no reserve left.

sweet dreams

Hard Day

Today I saw that Ansley was not herself. And quite frankly, it is hard. She tried to swim and got so tired and frustrated she stopped. I know she is low on energy and puny, but I saw it first hand today. It is hard to see your kids suffer and not feel "normal". I have to be careful with my mind and not feel sad and defeated because she will sense when I feel like giving up. Please pray for strength.

Tomorrow we go into MUSC for an IVIG infusion. It should help with the energy level and also with her counts bumping higher. It is a long process and has some side effects. I would ask you to pray for her and that the effects of nausea, itching, headaches, etc. would be minimal.

We are pressing on and fighting hard but there are times when it seems like nothing but an uphill battle.

COUNTING DOWN

We have begun the 4th from the last cycle of chemotherapy for Ansley. It is very exciting to think about how little Ansley has left as far as chemo. The day has been hard though. She is yucky, achy, nauseated and fussy. Please pray that we can get the yuckiness under control with meds. All in all, we are okay. Ansley is one tough cookie and I am thankful for that!

beauty from ashes

even on a hard day, there is joy to be found!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is Wednesday. It has become my least favorite day of the week because I now associate it with chemotherapy. But, the good news is that my boys will be going with me and Ansley tomorrow. She loves having her brothers there. I love that they want to be there! Another "good" bit of news is that after tomorrow, Ansley has 4 more sessions of chemo! We really are beginning the countdown.

Please pray for the port accessing and deaccessing to go smoothly and without pain. Also pray that the day would be relatively short at MUSC.
Pray that I would have the courage to go up to families that are coming into clinic for the first time tomorrow with a new cancer diagnosis.

Reminders...both good and bad

During this season, almost every day is filled with some tears. That's just how it is right now. Today the tears came from the visual reminders that we have a sick little girl. Whenever Ansley wears a sundress or a shirt without sleeves, her port is very obvious. Of course, it gets many stares and many strange looks as well. Whenever I see it, I am heart broken to think that my baby girl has to have this object in her body to get the chemo into her system to kill cancer. It just shouldn't be this way.

I also have the visual reminder of her cancer when I see her hair. Yes, it is growing back, but a little girl can only be called a boy so many times before her mom feels like punching someone in the face! I wish some people filtered what they thought before speaking. The daily reminders are hard to swallow. Even on "good" days, there are reminders that things aren't okay.

On the other hand, I have a beautiful reminder daily that God is faithful when I can grab Ansley in my arms in the morning and give her a big hug. She is here with us. She didn't die some 7 months ago. She is here and she is fighting hard. I am reminded daily of how resilient children are. Ansley is very aware that she is sick and that she looks different than most little girls. But this realization doesn't defeat her. She has a child-like trust that I so desire to learn!

I am reminded daily that there is much heartache in the world. Today, I learned of two new children whose lives will be forever changed by a diagnosis of cancer. Everywhere I turn, I see suffering. But, I am reminded that this is not the end of the story and this is not the home that we were created for. Cancer reminds me of how I long for Heaven. How I long for perfection. How I long for no more children to be diagnosed with cancer. One day, that will be reality.

Daily reminders. Some good. Some not so good. But, the question is what will I do with these reminders? Will I have a pity party and live in some "dream" world that cuts myself off from hurting people? Or, will I let the reminders energize my heart to help relieve suffering here and also look to perfection in Heaven? I pray I would choose option two.

As for our family, we are tired but okay. Ansley doesn't look well to me today. I'm not sure if she is just tired or getting sick. No fever, no cough, no pain. But, a mommy knows when her kiddos don't look like themselves. Please pray that she is not getting sick. Pray for our other kids. I have seen some jealousy lately from them in how much attention Ansley is receiving. It is understandable. Everyone asks them about Ansley. I don't want them to start to resent her.

So, in all, I'd say we are doing alright. We have one more week until the next chemo round. This never seems to get easy. I cry as I write that chemo week will be here soon. Please pray for these new cancer fighters and for their families. The initial days are overwhelming and shocking. Pray that God would be near to them and pray that they would know that God will use it for good.

Press on, friends. Don't avoid hurting people. Don't avoid suffering. We have all of eternity to live in perfection! Now is not eternity! Thanks and love to all of the faithful people praying for the full recovery of our little girl.

5 more to go!!

Ansley, Matt and Morgan had a long day at the hospital today as Ansley completed another round of chemo. She was a champ even with discomfort with her port. After the completion of today, this leaves 5 more cycles before the scans begin. If we stay on schedule, she will be done with chemo the week after Thanksgiving and scans will begin in December.

Our family has been gearing up for the start of another school year. It is hard to believe we will a middle schooler, 4th, 3rd, 1st graders and Kindergartener this year! Boy, the years are flying...although the days can seem quite long at times. We are thankful to be partnering with a wonderful school that loves our children during a tough season of life. I will be homeschooling Garrett and Ansley until the end of 2011 and then we will see from there.

Matt and I had a wonderful weekend together. It is so good to have fun together, to have time to talk to each other for extended time, and just to remember why I think I am the luckiest bride in the world to have Matt as my hubby! When life hits, I forget how wonderful he is and how honored I am to be his wife. This weekend helped me to remember how precious our marriage is!

A Wonderful Breather

Our family just returned from visiting my parents in Florida. It was a great break from reality! Ansley will be delayed this week in having chemo because Matt and I are going on a "staycation" to celebrate 14 years of marriage. This will be a very different year but I hope that we can enjoy the time together and focus on each other. Ansley will have chemo on Monday the 8th so that I can be here to give her meds the rest of the week.

We are looking at 6 more treatments before scans begin in December. I have felt fearful lately....more than I have ever known. I am afraid of what the scans will show. I am fearful of the day I hear the doctors say, "We found more". Other than searching out the Word of God, I haven't known what to do with this fear. I have found comfort in the following verse.

"He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord." Psalm 112:7

I can't say that I am free from fear but I don't feel alone in dealing with my fear.

Our kids start back to school on August 16th. I am dealing with the thought of this year looking so different than expected. The three oldest will be going off to school while Ansley and Garrett stay with me. I look forward to the time with them but it's hard to swallow all that has happened in the last 7 months of our lives. There is so much to be learned in this process of having a precious child with a deadly disease. Often, it's just plain overwhelming. But, as with other journeys, we are not left alone. We have a hope that is greater and His name is Jesus.

A Birthday to Remember

It has been a few days since chemo. Actually, it has been 5 days since chemo and 3 days since celebrating a very special 5th birthday for our sweet Ansley. What a roller coaster of a week! The chemo day went well. Her counts were great and her port access went well. The de-accessing didn't go very well. She shed a lot of tears and had a lot of pain with it. Oh, how helpless I feel to hear our baby girl cry while having something like that done to her. The last few days have been hard. We now know to expect these days to be hard. The days following chemo are never easy... Nausea, itching, achy, mouth sores, hunger, fatigue just to name a few of the issues she deals with daily right now.

It was a sweet day on Friday as we celebrated the blessing of 5 sweet years with our baby girl. There has never been a birthday that I have had a wave of emotions like this one. It was a day to remember. I pray we will have many, many more birthdays to celebrate with our daughter.

We will leave for a vacation this Friday to be with family in Florida. It is the first time we will have left Charleston since her diagnosis in December except for the Make-A-Wish trip in April. Please pray she stays healthy. I am fearful of taking her away from a place that knows her so well. But, our family is in need of a break. This season is beginning to take a toll on all of us. It is definitely a marathon. We need a break from the daily struggles that a family undergoes when life changes so drastically from a sick child.

I am so proud of how our kids have handled this stress in life. They are really troopers and have become selfless, patient and sensitive people along this journey. Pray that our time in Florida will be sweet. We could use a break and I am excited to enjoy time together. Pray that our precious Ansley is healed of cancer and that it never again is in her body.

A Very Big Week

Ansley has a very big week planned for 2 reasons. The first is chemo on Wednesday. Please pray that she handles it well and doesn't get really sick from it. The second is that she is celebrating her 5th birthday this week. Oh, what a joyous celebration this will be! Her life deserves celebrating in a big, big way this year! And, so, please pray for me and Matt that we can be joy-filled and happy and not emotional during this very special week. She is so excited and has many fun things planned. It is hard as her mommy to know that this birthday will take on new meaning because of her diagnosis in December. I will remember to cherish this celebration and to take it a day at a time. We are given a huge gift this year in being able to sing Happy Birthday to her once again! May we live remembering that today is a gift.

Beautiful

Tonight was one of those beautiful nights. We had a fun 4th of July and the kids got to bed quite late. As I was putting Ansley to bed, I decided to lay down with her and hold her hand. Very rarely do I do this but tonight it just felt like the thing to do. And so, I laid down with her and in about 30 seconds she was out! She had a long, fun day and was exhausted. But, then, I just couldn't leave the room. I stayed and watched her sleep. It really was amazing. Here is a little girl fighting the horrible enemy of cancer non-stop for the last 7 months and yet sleeps so soundly. She sleeps so peacefully. It's like she was saying to me as she slept, "Mommy, it's okay. God is greater and bigger and more powerful than cancer. I can trust Him and I will sleep peacefully tonight because of that truth." It has been a while since I have watched her sleep. Yes, as an infant I did it a lot but life just gets too busy and I put important things on hold. It was a good reminder tonight of the beauty of trusting, resting and waiting all from watching a 4 year old sleep. Please don't forget to take time to find those beautiful moments.